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| i don't really know who reads this anymore, and i realize that i haven't written in this thing in FOREVER, but i have news. yesterday my family grew by 2...kelly (dad's girlfriend) gave birth to twin boys!!! Bryce David: 11:57am, 7 pounds, 18 inches
Benjamin Dennis: 12:00noon, 7 pounds, 19 inches they are the most beautiful baby boys i've ever seen in my life, and i'm so proud to be their big big sister!!! photos to come soonly...promise <3-kourt | | |
| today marks 5 months that i've been with chris...the best 5 months of
my life...seriously...i've changed SO much since we started dating (and
it's all for the better too)...i don't know what i'd do without him. i
love him with all my heart and soul...nothing will ever break us
apart...
in other news...work is kicking ASS...our grand opening
is saturday and once that happens, i'm gonna be BALLIN...i made $91
this past saturday nite...it pretty much rocked my world. i love work
and everything about it: the people i work with, the people i work for,
the pay, the tips...everything...it reminds me so much of j.
christopher's it's ridiculous...but yeah, i'm working all weekend to
make that dough...i love my job.
AND...i get to see BOTH
parental units AND the broski this week...dad's coming up thursday on
my day off to come eat at the restaurant/meet susan (finally)/hang out
with me for a day, and then mommy and brady are coming up easter sunday
after i get off work to come eat at the restaurant so i'm not alone for
my easter meal...i can't wait. they're gonna LOVE the
place....seriously...
and yet...something kinda sad...every day
that goes by is a day closer to when chris leaves athens for awhile (he
leaves in may, i'm not gonna be able to until august)...summer's gonna
suck, but i KNOW we can get through it...i'll be going down there every
chance i get to look for a job and a place to live so by august i
actually CAN go there...it's just not gonna be the same, but my love
for the boy will never change...
that's really all the news i've
got from up here in little A-town...kids-if you've got a spare day
friday i'm off work...you can come see me...i'm off thursday, friday,
and i don't go into work until 5 on saturday...
LOVE YOU ALL!!!
<3-kourt | | |
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just when i think everything is okay...
it's not. well...it's not BAD, but it's not what i was expecting, nor am i thrilled about it...
so
i went to the doctor yesterday to get my kidneys checked out. they're
fine, which is awesome, and i also got 6 free months of birth control,
but i also asked about the problems that i've had sleeping in the past
2 months or so. i didn't think anything serious was wrong, and i filled
out the sleep questionnaire. the doctor came back in after i took that
one and gave me 2 more to fill out, but they had nothing to do with
sleep. i took them anyways, and he came back in to tell me that my
sleep questionnaire was severely abnormal, but that the other 2 showed
that i was severely depressed and anxious. i told him that i was
feeling the complete opposite: happier than i've ever been. i mean, i
moved out of an apartment that was nothing but trouble, i have a job,
i'm going back to school in april, i really don't have family problems,
i'm finally finding out who my real friends are, and i've got the
greatest boyfriend a girl could ever ask for. then he gave me one more
questionnaire, and came back with the news that i'm probably bi-polar
and that i need to go see a psychiatrist to figure out what's wrong
with me...
i thought i was over all this. i mean, i know i have
mood swings more than 3 times a week, but i thought it was just a girl
thing. i didn't think it was anything serious. i guess i'm just upset
that i didn't notice anything...then again, how was i supposed to??? i
never thought in a million years that i might be bi-polar. but the way
he explained it to me, there's a very good chance that i am.
now
i'm scared. i don't want to be a crazy person. i don't want to have to
depend on medicine to make me okay for the rest of my life. i want to
be able to deal with my own problems by myself. i feel exactly like i
did last year when i was depressed and had to go to counseling. only
this time, i don't have a choice whether or not i'm put on medication.
i just want to have feelings...i don't want to be numb for the rest of
my life.
i guess i have to deal with this though. i'm afraid
that things will only get worse if i don't. i'm terrified, but who
wouldn't be? i'm just glad i've got a family, friends, and a boyfriend
(who is the most amazing and wonderful person on the planet, and who i
wouldn't trade for anything in the world, even 10 million dollars) who
can support me through this...and i'm glad i'm not being exposed to
drugs, because that would only make me crazier...i'm also glad i don't
have to deal with the bullshit associated with my ex-roommates...that's
definitely gonna help...i just really don't wanna deal with it to be
completely honest. i start work back up march 5, i gotta set up a drug
abuse/mental health evaluation, go to drug court, and set up the drug
tests for my probation, i gotta get everything turned in to athens tech
so i can go to school, and now i've got this as well...it's SO MUCH!
and
i can't stop thinking about it either. it's plaguing my mind. i'm
freaking out about it and i really shouldn't be, but i can't help it.
i'll read the copies of the surveys they gave me over and over trying
to figure out exactly what's wrong, and i can't. the signs are all
there, but i can't bring myself to think that i'm actually bi-polar.
the thought scares the ever-living hell out of me...
i'm gonna
stop writing about it. i'm starting to say the same thing over and over
again. i love you guys, and i hope you don't start hating me just cuz i
might be a crazy person...
<3-kourt
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| things have never been more okay in my life than they are right now.
i finally go back to work march 5...assuming my kidneys decide to continue working...in the meantime, i'm going to temp services to get a temporary job filing papers or entering data or something...just something to get me some cash until i start working for real.
i go back to school in april. i'll be going to athens tech taking core classes to boost my god-awful GPA...i can't wait. i miss school (i know...terrifying).
AND...the best news of all...i moved out of the drug-filled, loser inhabited apartment i once resided in. i no longer live with the fucking douchebags i once lived with. they refused to quit doing drugs in the apartment after i went on probation, they talked shit/made shit up that wasn't even remotely true about me and then told all their friends the untrue things (apparently kourtney's life was a major topic of conversation at the apartment on a daily basis), they broke into my room and took shit out of it (and they'll deny it to this day), and i just got fed up with it. i couldn't take it anymore. i don't deserve to be treated like shit by anyone...ESPECIALLY those people. so i'm outta there...my new address is:
Kourtney Witham
1000 Lakeside Drive #223
Athens, GA 30605
send me a letter or something...i love getting mail...
and, of course, things with chris are more than perfect. he is the most wonderful human being on the planet. i'm head over heels in love with him and everything he does. it's never gonna change either...things are gonna be this amazing with him forever. gahhhhh i love this boy more than i've ever loved anything in my life.
'tis all for now...
<3-kourt
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| since i last wrote, something went very wrong. see...i was supposed to go back to work last monday...HOWEVER...on friday the 2nd, i woke up with an agonizing pain in my lower left back...
yeah
i got ANOTHER kidney infection
so i was in peachtree city for almost an entire week because of doctor's appointments and the fact that i thought i was dying. not cool. i'm feeling better now...2 more days of the antibiotics and then i go back the 22nd to make sure i'm still alive and that i'm not gonna have kidney failure or anything fun like that...
so...i haven't yet returned to work....and it sucks ass.
i'm moving out of my apartment and living with chris for the rest of the year. everyone i live with sucks and, as far as i'm concerned, if i never see them again i'll be alright. i'm sick of all the bullshit they pull when i'm around AND when i'm not around. so i'm leaving it. i'm out. i can't handle it anymore.
tomorrow is valentine's day...i get to spend it with the love of my life. hoorah!
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand there's not much else to write about...HOLLA
<3-kourt
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